These are the things no one saw and most people won’t know about.

People saw the pictures, and believed the sham I put on. For 3 years, I dealt with the lies, mind games, the backlash. I dealt with it and now I can never understand why.

It’s been about 8 months since I decided I had enough. It’s not like I just randomly walked away one day. I gave you a chance, one last ditch effort for me to see some glimmer that you cared but you let me walk.

You see how happy I am in my new relationship. And yet you still try to reach out when you know I want no parts of you.

No one saw behind closed doors you telling me “I’ve gained a few”. No one saw the time you kept twisting my wrist til you left finger marks for a couple of days and almost broke it. No one saw or heard of all the 3 separate times you cheated on me.

No one saw how I paid for virtually every date we went on. No one saw me bawling my eyes out on our 3 year anniversary when you didn’t send me anything, not even a card or a heartfelt text. How you told me because you were in college you had no money. But then the very next day you were buying $50 tickets to the wizards game.

No one saw how you cut me down relentlessly about my job. How you told me it wasn’t a real job and that I need to see my future differently. (I’m a 911 dispatcher for God’s sake, how in he world is that not a real job?) I chalked it up to “okay maybe he doesn’t realize what I do”, because truthfully many don’t understand. Yet you couldn’t even take 5 hours out of your day to come watch me take calls for a few hour. God forbid you drive 30 minutes to come partially understand what I do.

Rest assured, I’m doing so much better without you. I’ll never understand why I put up with the mind games, why I let you treat me how you did for so long.

My Matthew, is more than half the man you’ll ever be and I truly mean that. He’s never made me feel like less than I deserve. I wasn’t even looking for him and then he became everything to me. He listens to me when I have a bad day, and we actually go and do things as a couple instead of sitting on the couch every single time we hangout and watching Netflix. I could never imagine my life without Matt. He’s truly special.

Ladies, just remember your person is out there. It takes time and it’ll be when you least expect it. Don’t ever settle for someone who won’t lift you up and make you a better person.